PS. Love is Crazy and Stupid

Clare and Sarah divulge their opinions about love and relationships and singledom and February 14. Artwork by Jess.

v day

If you keep track of the date or have a Tumblr account you would be well aware of the imminence of Valentine’s Day. So in keeping with Rad Men’s monthly topic, it is now my time to pitch in my two cents on relationships (please note this is not advice. I am the least qualified person ever to give relationship advice).

When people talk about intelligence, they’re usually talking about your intellectual capabilities or emotional awareness, but one thing to which the word intelligence is not usually applied is romance. As a little girl who grew up waltzing to Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, it never occurred to me that being in a relationship required any degree of intelligence- surely Prince Phillip would just swoop down and kiss me awake and we’d live happily ever after(hell yeah dragon slayaaa). But no, as my understanding of romance has developed alongside my understanding of people (both still pretty sketchy), one thing I have managed to figure out is that relationships sure as hell aren’t Disney and, unless I have spent the majority of my childhood talking to woodland animals in the forests of Germany, it would be hella boring to have a story book romance anyways- they just aren’t very smart relationships.

If terminology like ‘dynamics’ and ‘balance’ and ‘cohesiveness’ can be applied to both relationships and scientific phenomenon, shouldn’t this mean that relationships have the ability to be more beautiful and interesting than we have ever imagined? So yeah, on the topic of relationships, whether you are in or out of one this Valentine’s Day i would celebrate. Love is a many splendored thing, and it definitely sprouts up in the strangest of places.

Lotsaluv from Clare xxx

\\

Last year I wrote a post on my own blog about how stupid and useless Valentine’s Day is, explaining why I loathed it. Since then, my opinion has changed. This year, I couldn’t give two shits.

I don’t care if you have found someone who shares your love for broiled goose and blue cheese. I don’t care if you get more action than Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook. I don’t care if your beloved calls you baby names and induces everyone around you into dramatic projectile vomiting. I am indifferent. I have less interest towards all other people’s romantic shenanigans than a corpse (unless you are Beyonce and Jay-Z/my parents).

If you are romantically engaged come 14 February, then by all means please do all you can to disgust every single soul in the human race. Call each other schnookums and cupcake. Do the whole sliding hands in each other’s back pockets thing in public, whatever that is. Make weird sexual innuendos involving food. Single people who care deserve to be tortured on Valentine’s Day for caring.

It’s the bitter individuals who make this day horrible, not the pairs in serious like. I say this as a lone wolf myself. Why? Because a lot of you complain about how lonely you are, how incomplete your life is and your plans to watch a Nicholas Sparks adaption marathon with your best friends Ben and Jerry.

Allow me to make a public service announcement for the good of mankind.

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

No one cares about your single status on Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg probably hates your incessant whining and inappropriate use of hashtags just as much as I do. And really, you’re just upset because here is an occasion that in your mind doesn’t apply to you. Dare I say it, you care too much about an ideal that you have been programmed to believe by society, by your parents and by the media – that you are incomplete without a significant other. Please purchase a deck of cards and deal with this truth: you are a whole person – not a half.

I will be the first to agree with you, Valentine’s Day is a sick commercial enterprise designed to take advantage of humanity for monetary gain and the people in love are annoying. (Corporations suck; fight the power) I can excuse the latter however, because couples are not hurting anyone. It’s so easy to dismiss their behaviour as nauseating and therefore revolting, but consider this: here are two people that have both decided that the other person is worth their time and attention, so much so that they have readily committed themselves to something that becomes an ample part of who they are.

With this in mind, overly coupley conduct is inexcusable any other day. But 14 February is a day when you are meant to be forward with all of your affection; it’s a day just for lurveeee. If we can’t let self-absorbed twosomes have this day, then what even are we besides unempathetic monsters? As the Black Eyed Peas once harmonised, ‘where is the love?’

Sarah

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s