Am I Still Drunk Or Just Exhausted?

Drunken/exhausted words of wisdom from resident guru, Clare Neal. Artwork by Kobi.

School may be out, but there may still be some important lessons that need learning. 

In fact, I am learning one right now, as I sit here typing through my 33rd hour of consciousness. You can learn arithmetic and language devices in a classroom but you sure as hell cannot learn sleeping patterns and the more often I pull these wakeful stints, the more I realise the importance of looking after yourself. So from one hopeless scallywag to another, here are some tips for the fun loving and weak willed. Note: Schoolies and Toolies better fuckin copy this down.

* Spontaneity does not equal stupidity- Yes, people actually get the two confused, usually with the help of substance abuse. But never fear! You can do what you want, just consider the safety measures and the question “How much will I regret this on a scale of 1- the rest of my life?”

* Take a buddy- Even if you’re meeting new people etc, it’s always good to have one trusted pal backin u urp. Even if not just for safety, you never know when you’ll need a wingman.

* Plan sleep breaks- Seriously, after an intense night of clubbing, nursing drunk friends, petting baby goats and going to amusement parks, I’m about to have mine. And it feels awesome.

* Be classy- If there is anything I have learned in my life it is that Beyonce and Ke$ha use glitter hella differently, if you catch my drift.

* Don’t worry about mistakes- Don’t dwell on the bad stuff. Feel good vibes man. #yolo #noregrets The twelvies may be onto something here (but not in any other field whatsoever).

So although this may be a rather beatnik collection of dot points for you today, I hope you can take some slithers of knowledge from my delirious guru state of mind. Peace, love, dove, party. Let’s get rad together sometime.

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