Kobi was recently attacked by a trio of magpies. Photograph by Kobi
I sat down today, thinking my fears were pretty clear cut. I thought, given the brutal nature of a recent bird attack I would have a lot of pent up sentiments towards our feathered friends. I thought I would paraphrase a little bit of Hitchcock’s The Birds and thank my Tumblr followers for their thoughts and well-wishes during my time of recovery post-bird attack. Whilst I am cripplingly afraid of birds; their talons and their beaks… I think I would be lying to you if I said they are my greatest fear.
I remember the first time I was swooped by a bird, rather vividly. I was in Pre-School and my Dad took me to a local park to teach me how to ride a bike without training wheels. A magpie rather savagely tried to feast on my eyes until Dad stepped in and saved the day, he even bought me an ice-cream; and it made it all better. I think I drew the conclusion that while birds were basically Satan with wings, they were something that I could be protected from.
I think our true fears; our greatest fears are the things we don’t verbalize, the things we know we can’t be protected from. Thankyou Kobi I hear you say Where did you get your psychology degree from; a cereal box? Actually I am self appointing myself your shrink for the next five seconds; and how do you feel about fear?
Why fear is such a negative and crippling thing? We all try and actively dispose our fears. The good Lord knows only too well how I feel about any further adjustments birds may want to make to my face. He also knows that I wake up everyday and try and draw something that mattered to me the day before, in hope that one day I matter to someone or something else. Jesus Christ knows all I want for Christmas is to matter (also JC, I know your papa orchestrated the whole virgin birth thing, so it would be real nice if you could send me a fake ID) . Well, shit just got real here. I hear you say. Stop being a dramatic and depressive little fucker. Why could we not have just heard about how three magpies tried to give you a facial reconstruction last Sunday? Ok. Three magpies thought my face could do with a bit of work.
I don’t really know where I am going or what I want with this piece and I suppose that that is almost the point. No one wants their fears, sometimes they take us down paths we don’t understand and make us do things that we can’t explain. But our fears (the good and the bad) shape us into human beings and make us individual. Perhaps fears are a little like our curves, our sexuality or our glued together foreheads; we just need to learn to embrace the fuck out of them.