Kobi and Sarah accurately articulate what it is to be a member of the 18+ club
Now that we are adults, we shall:
-Pick and mix our personal favourite aspects from the latest Ikea catalogue.
-Cancel our subscriptions to Total Girl and Disney Princess and open subscriptions to more serious and pressing publications, such as That’s Life and New Idea.
-Add extra bran to cereal to encourage the cogs of our rapidly dating digestive system.
-Non-ironically submit our problems to the financial, health and psychic columns in said publications. Dear Agony Aunt, after my husband had a stroke and forgot my cat’s name, the poor thing ate itself in sorrow and I don’t know what to tell my children when they ask what happened to Mr. Whiskers. Help.
-Avoid inappropriate jokes about the Holocaust, rape, the Ku Klux Klan and other sensitive issues at all costs. Like we would be the 9/11 of humanity if we didn’t.
-Trade in our membership cards to Pumpkin Patch for ones from Miller’s Fashion Club.
-Complete the crossword in the Courier Mail to prevent getting dementia (triple sifted snaps for the cryptic crossword).
-Genuinely believe LOL means Lots of Love and use it as frequently as possible. At Mr Whisker’s funeral. It’s so sad that they never recovered the body. LOL.
-Start to read Jodi Picoult for the genuine enjoyment for her brain-numbing trash.
-Find arrogant middle aged men such as Detective Stabler from SVU attractive. Dat bald patch, dat.
-Constantly reminisce over the ‘good old days’ when kids were basically the same, just wore different clothes and listened to different music. The young punks of today just wouldn’t understand.
-Actually hear noise when we listen to the latest tunes. One Direction literally sounds like static to us. It’s not even music.
-Lose all technological ability. We are currently struggling with this email, hope you can forgive us. Tweet our Facebook or Youtube it or something. #LOL